I’m just sayin… Jennifer Hudson

American Idol and The Second Coming of…Patti Labelle??

I am a fan of American Idol. I watch it more often than I am willing to admit. When nobody is around, I even do vocal runs and hit all high notes. Every Tuesday and Wednesday night, I watch Randy pack on pounds of Mac makeup, not brush his hair (or the bottom row of his teeth for that matter. Them mugs are YELLOW!), and squeeze into skinny jeans that give him a muffin top. I watch Ellen know absolutely nothing about music, and blink way too much. And I see Kara speak one way to white people, and a completely different way to black people (exaggerated head bobbing, urban slang, hand movements).

Why do I do it? Because every once in a while, a star is born.

Enter one Jennifer Hudson. J-Hud sings so great, it makes me want to chop my hair into a spiked asymmetrical bob and have 8 kids! Her voice resonates so strongly it’s almost unnatural. A talented singer AND actress, she went from American Idol reject to Oscar Award winner. I have nothing bad to say about her. Ever.

However, I’ve got serious beef with her manager. After Dreamgirls, Mr. Manager went crazy and thought Jennifer Hudson was really Effie White. Her movie roles make her seem older than she is. Both Dreamgirls and The Secret Life of Bees were set in the 60s. And now she’s set to play Winnie Mandela in a biopic. Shoot, the only current role she got was playing a “personal assistant” (pronounced “Mamie“) in the Sex and the City movie!! Ain’t that bout a [female dog]?!

Musically, her album sounded like a throwaway from Aretha Franklin’s collection in 1968. She’s 28, not 68!! You know what? I’ma start calling Jennifer Hudson “Patti Labelle 2.0“. Like Patti, all her gigs apparently require singing/shrieking at awards shows, usually in tributes to older/fallen stars. Out-sing Whitney Houston? Shoop. Aretha Franklin? Plead for “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” from Aretha Franklin? Done. “Hee-hee” for MJ? Did it…twice.

She’s got a beautiful voice, and a great pair of, err, lungs (What did you think I was going to say?). I want to hear her sing her own songs for once, not a gospel-y version of someone else’s. Crap, soon she’ll start flapping her arms like a bird, kicking her shoes off, and rolling on the floor.

Patti Syndrome is a [maternal parent fornicator]!! (See 3:40)

I mean, I’m just sayin…

B. Dienye


7 responses to “I’m just sayin… Jennifer Hudson

  1. The reason is simple B… it’s because she’s thicker than the average snicker… the music biz of today wants Beyonce.. they can’t put her in a body suit (not without the jiggle) so let’s market her to the older audience… That’s what it’s all about.. Hokey Poley!

  2. Bernice, don’t judge me. Plugging my ear really does help. Maybe if Lauryn did it, she’d still be around. But that’s a topic for another day. After watching this video, I can see why you love J.Hud so much. http://www.jenniferhudson.com/news/jennifer-hudson-pays-tribute-to-whitney-houston

    Big Sis/Alayibo, thanks!! But the blog isn’t mine. It does, however, belong to my namesake…one talented Sir Juan Pierre.

    CDD, though I don’t agree with your career analysis, I’m extremely happy that I have you cussing-in-code:). Fake cursing is the [excrement]!

  3. Ahahahaha… Too true… This is such a cool blog You have. By the way it’s your lil cuz Ala

  4. Tee heee heee…true Bio fashion, very entertaining.
    However, I will say Biopics win Oscars and Oscar winners can get a ticket on the “do whatever tha (fornication slang) I want train. It’s all a plan, we will see her doing ridiculous-ly AWESOME romantic comedies, one season sitcoms named “Hudson” sitting in for Sherri Shepard on the view when she finally get’s to do her stint on Dancing with the stars…soon enough 🙂

  5. YAY!!!! Your blog is up. I love it! And this is funny and true!

  6. You know I’m loving this post because I love this woman. When u said you do vocal runs I could just picture you doing your Mariah, holding your ear and then waving your hand in the air LOL.

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